The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
