OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
