then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
