oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
