So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
