What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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