how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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