plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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