Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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