FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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