If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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