This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
