Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
