Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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