there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
