if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
