Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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