He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
