the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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