how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
