yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize