I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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