Nicole vs. Life
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
