Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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