i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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