I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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