He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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