maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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