i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
