Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
