how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize