WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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