so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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