Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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