Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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