i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
