We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
