I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
cat food counts as protein by the way
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
