Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
