Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
