Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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