all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
