My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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