He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
