you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
