So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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