Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
