Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
sarcasm needs its own font
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
