My nipple is on Facebook.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Dicks are not precious.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
