Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
