Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
