He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
