I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
