I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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