ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
