he wants to bone in the snuggie
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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