look no pants
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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