I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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