Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Randomize
