Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
