Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
