there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize