you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
