so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize