just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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