yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
