Her vagina should come with caution tape.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
