I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
