i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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