do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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