i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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