I want to walk on stilts...naked
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
send nudes
from the living room?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
