It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize