Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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