Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
