Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
