seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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