if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
