next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
