: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
